Brother Bernd and a local monk
Funny that he is an actual brother by vocation and trade! A Catholic brother. Over the weeks we worked together, I asked him many times, just like an annoying sister, what is a brother? I could not wrap my head around the difference between a monk and a brother. (He will try to clear it up for me and you, the readers, later in our interview.)
I took an instant liking to Brother Bernd, as he is called by those of us lucky to be in his circle. He hails from Germany but has spent time in Australia learning English and Thailand learning Thai! He’s kindhearted, a little irreverent, easy with a laugh, gentlemanly, open, and protective - just what I think a true brother would be like. I often found myself chuckling with him over shared observations and feeling a connection to the lifestyle he had chosen, although his is flavored and guided by a profound belief in God.
To choose to live by a moral code, strict vows and set rules of behavior in today’s world cannot be an easy decision, but Brother Bernd talked to me about how it frees him to truly love people for themselves, wherever he finds them and whatever circumstances they may have fallen in. For me, each day was a joy to be around him. We sat down one day and I asked him the following questions. I hope you enjoy the interview.
Brother Bernd and Debt - his right arm man - photo by Debt
Renee: What is a Catholic Brother?
Brother Bernd: A brother is a man who takes vows of chastity, poverty and obedience and who lives in a community of brothers and priests. He is a lay person just like all the other members of the church. He cannot say mass. I can do what other lay people in the church do - prepare the liturgy, play music, prepare and educate youth in Christian values, etc. A brother can also have a job outside the church cause we are open and do not live cloistered away in a monastery. Monks and brothers take the same vows but most monks live in a secluded community and take a vow of "stabilitas" which means that they will live in one place their entire life and sometimes take vows of silence, but brothers mostly live in a community and can work outside at many and various jobs that help and support people - no matter what their religion or if they even have a belief. As a brother, (before Thailand) I was working as a nurse and teacher in a city hospital and was paid by the hospital but I lived in a community and had responsibilities there also.
I want to be like a brother for people - as an equal - someone who is going through problems together. Even though there could be stress or even anger in relationships with others, I work to maintain my relationships as a brother by sharing a home, creating a place that is homey and where everyone can be peers. Being a brother in a religious life, there are three important elements for me: seeing through the stigma of maligned people in society, being in the present with them when I am doing everyday things, and humbling myself to see that life is more than running after career and money - being an advocate for those maligned by our society.
Brother Bernd and Tone (at radio) visit with a one man radio station - see the owner/DJ next to Bern.
Renee: How do you deal with your vows of chastity and poverty:
Brother Bernd: For me, the third vow, obedience, is the hardest. To be honest, I try to live the three vows daily and they are sometimes hard to live by. The vow of obedience is challenging cause I have my own opinions and my own mind and of course I am a normal man and I have eyes and emotions. Poverty? Today I am fine with it but tomorrow I cannot buy an Apple computer and since I try to live a simple lifestyle I cannot go on holiday destinations I would like to go on - for example - Fiji - so I have to deal with that and it is important to me to look deeper and understand each single vow. The vow of chastity means to me: it is more than just NO SEX, it means to say yes to love - I want to be free to be open to all people without focusing on relationships like family relationships - it sets me free to commit myself to SERVE and love those I believe God wants me to love and serve. Poverty does not mean no money but it means to live simplistic life in solidarity with the poor and share what I have. Obedience does not mean I have to say NO to myself but that listening to God’s voice together with my superiors. The problem is that sometimes my superiors might hear God’s voice in another way than I do...so we might have to go and listen twice to what our own heart are saying. A superior is stronger in that he has accumulated more information and power but superiors nowadays try to listen to everyone’s needs and look for everyone’s talents. Sometimes I have to do what they tell me for the betterment of myself but I just want to get on with something. It is good to find answers together - God, my superiors and me - to find out what is best for me and for the society I live in!
Renee: What would you change about the Catholic Church?
Brother Bernd: Where can I start? You know, church, what is it? I believe we are the church so I have to ask myself what should we be like? We, as the church, have to build an atmosphere of including people and not excluding people. This means there is NOBODY who is not allowed to be a part of this church and it includes a place to share real emotions which are happy, sad and fun and all those emotions are connected to God. Church should be a place where everyone’s voice is heard. Real life is shared and preaching should be the fruit from our daily life. When the liturgy is connected to my daily life it is vibrant and makes me feel the spirit of God is with us. I think a church should be less on the side of the rich and more aligned with the poor - less interested in money. The beauty of the word of God is that all people can understand it - we don't have to be priests to understand!
Brother Bernd cleans an HIV positive patient's wound
What is God trying to tell us? We look into the life of Jesus and we try to follow him and our source is the Bible. We try to understand the word of God - what he says to me and wants me to do today - to follow his journey and make his journey our journey. He was friends with maligned people.
Brother Bernd meditates at a local shrine
Renee: There are so many Catholics who have left the church in the Western World - how would you get us back if you had the power to do so?
Brother Bernd: The key words are forgiveness and love. We as a church have to build communities where people can be as they are and want to be loved and forgiven. If we had enough of those places the word would spread and people would be happy and naturally their friends would see where their inner peace and freedom comes from....
Renee: You have been in Ghana, Thailand, Europe and Australia, what inspired you in each place?
Brother Bernd: Africa: I never felt to be so white as when I went to Ghana! The smiles of the people inspired me! Australia: The culture is easy to understand - to relax, enjoy life and have fun - we Germans have to learn more of that! Thailand: I was inspired by how many ways you can say no without saying no! Europe - there are always better places to go in the world! (but I can feel homesick for Europe at times!)
Renee: Describe a perfect day for you?
Brother Bernd: Sleeping in and having breakfast in my pajamas would be like a holiday feeling for me! In the monastery or in a religious community, we don't have a chance to do that. Imagine all the brothers and priests going to the dining hall in their pajamas. A perfect day is also a day with others and some time alone - I need time on my own and time to be in prayer. A perfect day is dinner with friends outside and to be honest - pizza and pasta - but my Thai friends should never know that!
Renee: What do you do for fun?
Brother Bernd: I spend time with friends, do outdoor activities and I like to go to the beach! I ride my new moped!
Brother Bernd hangs out with HIV positive youth...
Renee: Your favorite words in English, Thai and German?
Brother Bernd: English: Harmony. I always need harmony in my life.
German: Loslassen which mean letting go cause life would be easier if i would let of things that trouble me.
Thai: I have two - one means understanding in a way that the understanding enters your heart and the other means nurture - to take your heart and put it into something.
Renee: Tell us five goals for your life:
Brother Bernd: Live happy and content
Live true in healthy relationships
Keep myself healthy
Take final vows
Improve my Thai
Renee: What can non-religious people learn from you?
Brother Bernd: Those who dedicate their life to the love of God are neither better or higher that anyone else. Whatever I do I try to base on my faith - I try to listen to God’s voice. Especially as the world is a loud place, we have to look for a silent place from time to time - the closer we are to ourselves the closer to God.
Renee: When are you most frustrated?
Brother Bernd: When I meet a Thai person and this person does not realize I am speaking Thai!
Renee: What gives you joy?
Brother Bernd: To find it everywhere - harmony, loving God, good vibrations and energy.
Renee: What made you choose Thailand?
Brother Bernd: In the past, priests were send to start as missionaries in a new country, at least in my religious order, the Divine Word Missionaries. Eleven years ago, the brothers came to start the church's mission here from the beginning. So, I thought, there must be strong brothers here and I wanted to get to know them. For me, the main point to work here is to work with people living with HIV/AIDS. I wanted to be involved in this ministry, as I believe the church has to be involved in it, and actually is involved in it, especially religious sisters, brothers and priests are involved! It's not only caring and nursing ... but making a difference in people's life. Sometimes we have to stand up and fight for a kid to be allowed to study in a school, as HIV is not a reason to exclude someone, from nowhere! Just today we welcomed a man who was rejected by his family and there are many of them. You know, I want to be a brother for the man who said last week: "My family threw me away."
Renee: Where do you see yourself at 50?
Brother Bernd: Where God wants me to be - I hope it will be a nice place in this world - I don't even know where I will be next year!
Brother Bernd plays paper, scissors, rock with Thai kids! Photo courtesy of Brother Bernd
